THE STORY: Star Trek fans will note that the part of Rumpelstiltskin is played by Max Grodenchick, AKA Rom, on Deep Space Nine.
The story starts somewhere in Europe around 1400. Well, its probably England since the villagers are speaking English and have English accents. Rumpelstiltskin, carrying a baby, is running away from a mob. Apparently he has just spun straw into gold and the baby is his payment, but the mother and the villagers have a different idea.. A witch punishes him by turning him into a little stone figurine. Then we move into the 1990's. Michelle is 8 months pregnant when her husband, Russell, is killed trying to prevent a carjacking. Shelly becomes reclusive after the baby, John, is born. Her friend Hildy decides to take her out for a day of shopping to cheer her up. They visit the standard movie 'spooky antique store' where Shelly purchases the Rumplestiltskin figurine, even though the owner of the store, Matilda warns her against it. Later in the evening Shelly wishes that Russell were able to see his son. This brings Rumpelstiltskin to life. He grants her wish and then tries to steal the baby. Shelly escapes with Baby John and stays with her friend Hildy. Rumpelstiltskin shows up again. Shelly escapes with Baby John, but her car breaks down and she has to hitch a ride with Max Bergman, an annoying talk show host. Rumpelkstiltskin attacks them on the road and a policeman is killed. The cops arrest Max and Shelly thinking they are responsible for the officer's death. Rumpelstiltskin follows them to the police station where he kills all of the cops and takes baby John. Matilda shows up and tells Shelly that chaff (straw) is Rumpelstiltskin's weakness and she can defeat him by saying 'the chant'. Rumpelstiltskin is in a nearby cemetery where he will steal baby John's soul by sunrise. Max uses a front loader full of straw to weaken Rumpelstiltskin and Shelly says his name three times, turning him back into a stone.
BEST LINES: "[unwrite]eth me!"-Rumpelstiltskin during a moment of distress.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?:
1.) If this Rumpelstiltskin figurine is so damned dangerous, why the hell does Matilda have it for sale!?
2.) When Rumpelstiltskin first appears to Shelly he tells her to give up the baby or guess his name. Who isn't familiar with the story of Rumpelstiltskin? I really think most people would have just said "Rumpelstiltskin" and he would have had to stomp and stomp and fall through the floor....see? I remember the fairy tale and I don't even have kids!
3.) Rumpelstiltskin isn't a very effective monster. He's clumsy and easy to beat up. He doesn't use his magic powers very effectively either.
4.) When Rumpelstiltskin attacks in the police station the fat policewoman calls for help on a walkie talkie. I just wonder why she doesn't use the phone.
5.) I'm not crazy about Max...he's annoying and his voice is a pain...and he's stupid! After Rumpelstiltskin is turned back into stone he throws him away into the woods! (where he is found 3 years later of course) Any sane person would either destroy the stone or secure it somewhere.
6.) Rumpelstiltskin gets away with a remarkable amount of destruction for someone that Shelly could have turned to stone at any time by saying his name three times!
NUDITY AND SEX: Shelley has sex with Russell's ghost. The nudity is limited and you don't see anything but her back.
HUH?: Chaff and wooden telephone poles conduct electricity if a front loader touches them.
Rumpelstiltskin steals a truck and comments that its his kind of chariot, "Made in America". That's something. He's been gone since 1400 and he knows what a truck and America are!
The cemetery has a giant moon poster in it instead of the real moon.
THE TALLY: Well, I thought that this movie would be a little kookier than it is. After all, Rumpelstiltskin should have all kinds of wacky powers and better one liners than he does. The problem with this movie is it tries to hard to be scary when it should just try to be silly, like Leprechaun.(which was a stupid movie, too, but better than this one.) Mildly entertaining, especially if you're into 'fairy tales and mythical creatures coming to life and killing dudes' movies.